Transcript
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Our sorority members that belong to our church.
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There was one time, y'all, they heard from our priest that my mom was in the hospital.
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The next text I get is what room is your mom in?
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I say why?
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Because we on our way with dinner.
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Wait y'all, zeddy was in the ICU.
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What you mean dinner?
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Yes, they showed up with a pan of chicken.
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They didn't go get no carry out.
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There was no drive through this soror and her baby daughter.
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They came with a pan of chicken and two sides and a gallon of sweet tea.
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Ok, I said I don't know if you can do all that.
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She said I brought enough plates for them too.
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Jay, what nursing staff gonna say if they can get in on it?
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None of them.
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Parenting up caregiving adventures with comedian J Smiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama.
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For over a decade I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat.
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Spoiler alert this shit is heavy.
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That's why I started doing comedy.
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So be ready for the jokes.
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Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver.
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You are in the right place.
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Hi, this is Zeddy.
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I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast.
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Is that okay?
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Today's supporter shout-out is from Instagram A to the F Quote, not the sound effects.
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Squinty face emoji Celebrate those caregiving wins.
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Soror.
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Here's a toast to you and the BMs Another squinty face emoji.
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Thank you, listen.
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A BM is like winning the lottery around here.
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If you want to be a recipient of the supporter shout out, please review and like on Apple Podcasts that's the one that counts the most or you can absolutely go to IG or YouTube.
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Thank you in advance.
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Today's episode Sisterhood Meets Social Media Delta's search for Zeddy.
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Hey, what's up?
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Parented Up family.
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Guess what?
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Have you ever wanted to connect with other caregivers?
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You want to see more behind the scenes footage?
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Want to know what me and Zeddy are doing?
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I know you do All things.
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Jsmiles are finally ready for you, even when I go live.
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Do it now with us on Patreon.
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Join us in the Patreon community.
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Catch everything we're doing.
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Visit patreoncom.
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Forward.
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Slash JSmilesStudios with an S.
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I got to tell y'all I hate getting unknown people in my DMs, on my voicemail, in my email.
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I feel like it's almost like you're attacking me.
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I know I shouldn't feel that way, but it's the truth.
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However, this one time thank goodness this one time.
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Thank goodness, 18, 25, 30 million of the same folks just kept badgering the shit out of me on my Facebook Messenger, to the point where it was bogging down my email.
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Y'all know how Facebook is.
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Facebook will send you an alert over and over and over again.
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It forced me to go look and see what the hell is happening in my messenger Because I refused to put the messenger app on my phone.
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I wasn't going to do it, so I'm like I ain't about to let Zuckerberg know where I'm going and be all up in my phone and know what I'm thinking about and who's sending me pictures of the you know what kind.
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I don't know what happens with these apps when they actually on your phone.
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Y'all, why was it my mama's college friends?
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My mama's college friends?
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It was my mama's college friends.
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These ladies, who were somewhere between 25 and 30 years older than me, have figured out my name on Facebook, which does not match my mama's name.
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I did not mention my mama.
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My mama was not on my profile at all.
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Nothing about her school, nothing about her having Alzheimer's, not her hometown, her high school, nothing.
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How the hell did these ladies find me?
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How did they know it was me and why did they care?
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I'm going to tell you they are line sisters.
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You know anything about that?
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Have you heard about that?
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That divine nine?
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These are my mama's line sisters, the ones I had never met.
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Like, I knew one of them since I was born, but that wasn't the ones that was trying to find me.
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They heard that my mama had Alzheimer's and they wanted to talk to me themselves.
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Y'all, I got into my little Facebook messenger.
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They are giving me a dissertation, half of it they getting in my ass but not making sure that they knew in advance, and the other half they trying to find out what is your address, because we got to send care packages.
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I need you to know.
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I got family members and neighbors that they send care packages.
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That's what these ladies wanted to do.
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They had not seen or heard from my mama in decades because she had been sick.
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But they're going to chase me down on social media.
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I know everybody don't like social media and everybody is not all for how much people can track you?
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How much people can track you?
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But I got to tell you these little old ladies, these silver foxes, decided that their line sister, my mom, like myself Delta, sigma, theta, sorority Incorporated.
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My mom plays at Hampton got my Iota chapter in 1968.
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I don't know, this had to be.
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At least this was more than 50 years later.
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They tracked me down, made me answer.
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Do you know how many emails they had to or not actually emails, how much they had to blow up my messenger for Facebook to then clog the hell out of my email?
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And I have since come to form a relationship with them all and they now have me on their line group, me group text.
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So I know when somebody husband die, when somebody get another great grandchild and they tell me, hey, baby, you make sure that you tell our kitty baby that was my mama's affectionate name online that we thinking about her and we love her.
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Now, for all of you who want to say oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that Delta, that AKA Sigma, gamma, rho, qs, omegas, oh, qs and Omegas, that AKA sigma, gamma, rho, qs, omegas, oh, qs and omegas, that's the same thing For those of us who are part of African-American, black, greek organizations.
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There's so many people who want to say it's a cult or it's anti-religious, anti-religious, or what are y'all doing?
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Or why the amount of support that I have received as a caregiver is unparalleled from people in the D9.
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I'm not saying that only D9 members have given me and my mom love.
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Members have given me and my mom love.
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I'm just saying that those people who are part of those organizations, without failing they actually worried the shit out of me to support me, our sorority members that belong to our church.
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There was one time y'all they heard from our priest that my mom was in the hospital.
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The next text I get is what room is your mom in?
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I say why?
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Because we on our way with dinner.
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Wait y'all with dinner, wait y'all.
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Zeddy was in the ICU, what you mean?
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Dinner?
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Yes, they showed up with a pan of chicken.
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They didn't go get no carry out.
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There was no drive through this soror and her baby daughter.
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They came with a pan of chicken and two sides and a gallon of sweet tea.
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Okay, I said I don't know if you can do all that.
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She said I brought enough plates for them too.
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Jay, what nursing staff gonna say if they can get in on it?
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None of them.
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We were at a fancy, fancy hospital in Atlanta, atlanta.
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And what did they say?
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Thank y'all.
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Me and the staff were up in the ICU grooving on this food.
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Now, that particular soror, she ain't go to school with my mama, she ain't go to school with me.
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I didn't even tell my mom was in the hospital.
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She found out from the priest.
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I ain't putting, I ain't saying nothing about the other people, the parishioners that might not have come by the hospital.
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That ain't the point.
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What I am trying to.
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Let y'all know that there's a common thread that goes through that thing.
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If you happen to be a member of one of those organizations where you extend yourself in a very loving manner, in a way that goes way beyond what's reasonable, we bust our butts for each other the minute we we found out, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, in addition to X, y and Z.
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Oh, you a soror and you are in trouble, or somebody in your family is in trouble, or you falling on hard times, just like that, just like that, just like that.
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So you know, there's a lot of people that don't understand.
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It's not for you to understand, okay, I also don't understand why anybody voted for Donald Trump ever for anything.
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But that's your business.
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But on this time, which is near, and it is unfathomable how I could not point out and bring attention to the tremendous support that happens over and over again, and even fraternity members dad was an alpha.
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It changes how these men immediately say oh okay, well, your dad is deceased.
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I didn't know your dad was a brother.
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Okay, well, what do you need?
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And all of a sudden, men who are involved with car dealerships are trying to help me figure out whatever to get my maintenance done.
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It is a level of camaraderie and familial ties that's immediate, immediate, immediate.
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So many people will say, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, I'm cool with her because she went to my high school or we're from the same hometown or we're from the same state.
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You move from Alabama and you live in California and you find out what you from Alabama Imagine.
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Imagine when you can connect With someone else that looks like you and you know they chose this community you were part of.
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I didn't choose to be from Alabama, but I did choose to be a Delta, and so did Zetty and so did her line sisters, and there is a level of value add in there that this is immediate.
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So to my mama's line sisters, thank you for tracking me down and not letting me ignore all of those Facebook messages and now, because of them, I actually go look at Facebook messages from time to time because you never know what blessing is in the dark night and drama that could be.
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The Facebook messages like I don't want the crazy men that are in there, but I scroll right by them Because it could be an elderly woman that's trying to send you a care package.
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You just never know.
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Love is really everywhere.
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The snuggle ups.
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Number one Check your DMs every so often.
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When that little red highlight circle over to the upper right corner on your app starts to get to the triple digits, just take a look.
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It may be worth it.
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Yeah, you don't know who the hell it is, but it doesn't mean it won't change your life in a very positive, progressive manner.
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Number two to my divine nine brothers and sisters, thank you.
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Thank you for the heavy lifting, thank you for standing in the gap, even when many society members might not understand who we are or what we're doing.
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Thank you for just toeing the line and making it happen.
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You don't get paid either.
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We actually paid to be members of this, these organizations, and all we do is serve the community and each other.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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Number three If your LO has a college friend, maybe an elementary school friend that you think can impart some wisdom or some joy to their current life.
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Maybe you can use social media to find that friend or find classmates that could be useful as you're being a caregiver.
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It goes both ways.
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Technology is here, it ain't going nowhere.
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We might as well milk it, so cute.
