Transcript
WEBVTT
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What's up?
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Parents and the family what's up?
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Are y'all ready for your first year in review summary from me and my team?
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Yep, that's what we doing this year 2024 was fast and furious.
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Some of it sucked and some of it was spectacular.
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So what we gonna do?
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We gonna flip it and reverse it.
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We gonna give you some of our favorite, our snuggle ups, some of the clips, some pictures.
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All right, you got in the DMs, you gave it to us in the comments.
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You let us know what you liked about Zeddy.
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Everybody loves Zeddy and we're going to spice that up and split it up, all right.
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So share it, watch it, listen.
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Most importantly, take care of yourselves.
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All right, the world is stressing us out, but Alzheimer's is heavy.
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We ain't gotta be.
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We got each other.
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See you in 2025.
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Parenting Up caregiving adventures with comedian Jay Smiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama.
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For over a decade, I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat.
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Spoiler alert this shit is heavy.
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That's why I started doing comedy.
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So be ready for the jokes Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver, you are in the right place.
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Hi, this is Zeddy.
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I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast.
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You got, okay, you got okay.
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I got 50 minutes of sleep, five zero 10 minutes, less than an hour.
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I was nervous, I was worried.
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I was like, oh my God, my brain is not even going to be awake enough to be witty or to be spontaneous, which is the kind of comedy they wanted.
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Because I asked them is there a theme you want me to talk about or stay away from?
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They said no, jay, just come in and spitball with the other comedians.
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What I sleep long enough to spitball.
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I told my team OK, I need a Coca-Cola.
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Told my team, I think, okay, I need a Coca-Cola and I need to just kind of get my mind right so that I can clear my mind enough to then allow the universe and the Holy Spirit to just put stuff in it as needed.
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Y'all, I walk into the green room.
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I walk into the green room First thing.
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No, I walk into the station.
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I'm walking up the steps.
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The executive producer is coming down the steps and she said I've been looking for you.
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I left my office early to come down and give you a hug.
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What I wish I could see my face.
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What, where they do that at.
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She said okay, go ahead to the green room.
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I'm going back upstairs now.
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I just wanted to catch you before you got camera ready.
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It's like, okay, all right, universe, all right, ancestors, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, they really want me here.
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All right, all right, okay, let, okay, cool, let me do this, let me do this, let me do this.
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I walk into the green room.
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Chase smiles, of course you'll be here.
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Hell yeah, girl, what's up, what's up, what's up?
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And it is the biggest love fest with me and comedian Kelly Kells.
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If you don't know her, you're welcome in advance.
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Kelly K-E-L-L-Y, k-e-l-l-z.
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She's phenomenal, full of energy, super positive.
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She's killing it all over the United States.
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She gives me a big hug, then your fly auntie says I'm y'all's sorority.
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I hadn't even met her before, so I don't even know how she whatever, it doesn't matter, because Kelly and I didn't say we were daughters, we just started hugging.
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She said I'm y'all's sor, so right too.
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She all leaned in and she was looking gorgeous and she's a lot taller than me.
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So her lean in.
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You know.
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I was like right, you win.
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That's big energy.
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And he go, this big ass hug back turns out she has a phenomenal story of overcoming.
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Anyway, look her up.
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But she's out here doing big things, big positive things and making sure that other people know.
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Not only are you not alone, the big thing is, you always have your damn self.
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Her story to me sound like quit looking around for somebody else to come do something for you.
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You got you and figure out whatever it is inside of you that can help you do the thing you need.
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It was pretty amazing.
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I turn, I look around and then I'm like I know so damn well, that can't be her.
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I know so.
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I'm spinning in circles.
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I'm like I know so damn, that ain't her.
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The infamous Coco Brown.
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I mean Comic View, tyler Perry, netflix.
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She got a Netflix special, y'all.
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I go to hug her and stand up and she's like I remember you.
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I'm sorry, coco Brown, did you say you remember me?
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She's like haven't we met?
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I'm like yeah, I remember when we met.
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I got the selfies in my phone.
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The point is, you remember me, listen, y'all.
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She can call Tyler Perry, she can call Oprah.
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Do you understand what I'm saying?
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She could call Jimmy Kimmel, like now.
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And she, and she was like yeah.
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And then she ran down the other comedians that were on the show and I said I've been trying to, I've been, I've been wanting to be with you and talk to you and ask questions and mentor you and she was like well, what happened?
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I said, well, some of the people that I knew, that knew you, said you were really busy.
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She was like today's the day, yo.
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She started sharing her story with me.
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She was a caregiver for both her parents.
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I didn't know that they now have their wings, both of them.
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She's going to be on the parenting of podcast and she's gonna be my comedy mentor.
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Look, in that part.
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She offered I ain't even have to force, but I did a little bit kind of say, you know, you got to be on my podcast and she kind of looked.
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I was like, okay, anyway, let me tell you what the podcast, because I can only imagine how many people have asked Coco Brown and it's C-O-C-O-A.
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Coco.
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There's an A on there.
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I'm talking fast, but just make sure you put an A on there.
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Coco Brown, I can't imagine how many people have asked her to be.
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I mean, she, she kills the game and she's a real actor.
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She's an actor and a stand-up comedian, like she didn't even have to let me finish the conversation.
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But she said well, what's your podcast about?
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The minute.
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I said parenting up, I'm a caregiver.
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She was like done.
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I was like, but let me.
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She's like sis done, and whoever it was that knows me that didn't let us meet earlier.
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She said I apologize, don't hold it against them and don't hold it against me.
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I'm not that kind of person.
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And I was like, wow.
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What got me excited about the law was what I knew about the civil rights movement and the fact that for the last, the whole 19th century, everybody that was a part of making change seemed to be a lawyer.
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There was always a lawyer in the mix.
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I should say there's a lawyer in the mix that was designing the strategy around how we're going to break this rule, break these ugly rules for women, for men, for kids, for foreigners coming into America.
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And I was like I want to do that because I want to help.
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When I was preparing to go to Howard, my dad said baby, don't major in pre-law.
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That is the dumbest program ever, he said, because if, for any reason, you don't choose law school, you're stuck with a degree that is absolutely useless.
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And Spoiler alert I hate reading and writing.
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I hate it.
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I can do it, I just don't like it.
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And my father knew that I loved math and science.
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Like I will do a math problem, like other people will play jacks or hopscotch or jump rope when I was a kid.
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Okay, so that's what an interesting comment, okay?
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And so my dad said you know what, baby?
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What you need to do when you go to Howard is you need to major in something where you will take your butt to class.
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The most important thing for law school is to actually graduate from undergraduate school.
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Okay, with the best GPA you can.
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They don't care if you graduate in basket meeting Graduate with the highest GPA.
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So what will make you go to class?
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And I said math and science.
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He said, well, go major in that.
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My mama was mad as hell.
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She said don't let her major in something that's not law, because then she's going to get distracted and get over here.
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And he said I don't care.
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What I don't want her to do is not graduate, or graduate with grades so poor that it's hard to get in law school.
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So I'm in, I'm in, I'm at Howard.
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My father ended up being so right I'm at Howard, I'm finishing my junior studies.
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I fall so in love with engineering that I want to go design stuff.
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And I kind of tested by my mama one day and she's like I don't know what you're talking about.
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You're going to law school.
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You've been talking about law schools and you in the eighth grade and I was like, yeah, I know, but you know this, this, I just want to go do this and then see, and then she kind of walked out the room on me.
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So when my parents sent me the money to go for the law school Kaplan classes and everything to take the LSAT, I didn't.
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I didn't sign up for the classes, I just didn't take the courses.
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So when they called me to ask me about did I prepare for law school?
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Did I?
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Did I sign up?
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Did I sent any applications?
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I said nope.
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Now I did spend the money but I never applied.
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Okay, and it was probably the only time in my life when my mama stopped talking to me.
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She just handed my phone to my daddy and she said Jock Smith, mm-hmm.
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And she said some curse words that people wouldn't expect to say Chuck Smith, you get on this phone with this child.
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I told you not to let her major in something other than pre-law, and that was the start of me figuring my way to get to Stanford and all the things.
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So I always wanted to be a lawyer, okay.
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So I just kind of took another route around it and, um, I'm a bit of a purist, mia, meaning if I want to design products or if I want to be an engineer, then I want to go.
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Be that I don't want to have be an engineering product design lawyer all on one project, right?
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Like I don't buy two-in-one conditioner shampoo.
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I want the shampoo, then I want the conditioner and then I want then at the end, I don't want the, yeah, I want the whole thing.
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You know what I mean.
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Then I want the edge control.
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Don't give me one.
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I'm like, nah, I want to get the whole thing.
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I want the appetizer, then the salad, then the entree, then the dessert.
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Don't give me a smoothie.
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That's supposed to give me all the nutrients.
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You know what I mean.
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So, um, there were certain degrees in or certain academic opportunities that tried, like patent law, where people would say, oh, you could, you could go do both.
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No, you can't do both.
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No, you don't want to do both.
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You're a purist, right, I'm a purist and you don't really do both.
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As a patent attorney, you're just looking over engineering papers, but you don't get to do any engineering.
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You don't design anything.
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You don't have anything to do with how that product works.
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You're just making sure that somebody doesn't get sued.
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You have nothing to do with how the damn thing works.
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So I was like, yeah, I don't want to do that.
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So, basically, law was the very first thing I was supposed to do.
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Okay, so I ended up going full circle.
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Uh, my father, uh, met Johnny Cochran when, when, um, johnny Cochran was on his first book tour this was after the OJ trial, his Journey to Justice book tour.
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They became very, very fast friends.
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So while I was at Stanford, they started the National Cochran Firm.
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Ok, and so when I went gillette to design toothbrushes, they started teasing me about having this corporate job, like you know, working for the man and and being, you know, behind bars.
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Because I got this nine to five and I'm wearing a lab coat, but I'm the only black woman in this global advanced research and design center for a Fortune 500 company.
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I think I'm expecting them to be proud.
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And they're clowning me.
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They're like calling me from private planes saying are you through?
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Are you through playing.
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They're waiting for you.
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Are you through playing with the little Lego sets and your buns and burners?
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And you know, to lose a parent is a whole, nother animal Right, because, you know, I remember cleaning up the house and I was cleaning up something and I found I came across a bottle of perfume and I had never seen it.
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I'm like what is this?
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And I opened it up, let a bottle of perfume and I had never seen.
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and I'm like what is this and I opened it up, I smell it, this little perfume, and it was crying for six days.
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That's your mama, that was mama perfume Mama in a bottle.
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Who put this damn bottle out here?
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Anyway, I know y'all could have put that up.
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Please somebody.
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But yeah, yeah, but we took care of my mom.
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My uncle stood in the gap for my grandmother, okay, and he actually became her real caregiver in terms of you know, he started getting a check, like, even now he's still a caregiver, with what he learned from the help of my grandmother, wow, so he's still a caregiver for older people.
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So he turned it into a career path.
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actually, he turned it into a career path because he had no job.
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Well, come on now.
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Okay.
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We all got that.
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He stayed at home so long.
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How long was it that people start commending him for being there?
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Oh, like, hey, man, you're doing so good with mama.
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I'm like that nigga never left, he ain't staying with mama.
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I'm like that nigga never left, he ain't stay with mama, he's just still here and she happens to now be sick.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, all right, I know we got some of those.
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Well, that's where my parents met Talking trash at a political event, talking about voting.
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My mom always told me no, voting is insignificant.
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If it was insignificant and it didn't matter.
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They would have given us the right to vote from the beginning.
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And so even if you don't understand, jay, why you should vote, understand that the people in the power don't want you to.
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That's why you should do it.
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So think about, like when you're a kid and you're growing up and your parents say don't date that guy, don't date that girl, come home by midnight.
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What's the first thing you do?
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You're like forget that.
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If you say, come on by midnight, I'm trying to figure out immediately how at least to stay out to 1 am.
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It's the same psychology for my mom.
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At least.
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If they don't want us to vote, vote, then damn it, I'm fucking voting.
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Every time Local, state, federal she was in it.
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Now, of course, it does not hurt that she was born and raised in Montgomery, alabama, and Martin Luther King Jr wasa personal mentor of hers.
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But I will tell you this All of her contemporaries, all of her cousins, everybody she grew up with, didn't keep that same fire in their belly, and I mean technically speaking.
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Dr King was there with them too, like I wasn't there.
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So I ain't trying to start nothing and I ain't trying to say who did this, who robbed Peter to pay Paul.
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But I grew up with him and I know some people didn't quite make it, y'all.
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Zeddy gave her employees the day off to go vote.
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She's a private employer, a consultant, and let me tell you why.
00:18:35.198 --> 00:18:40.223
That's a big deal they had to negotiate.
00:18:40.223 --> 00:18:44.855
They asked off to get regular vacation, cause my mama believed that you should work.
00:18:44.855 --> 00:18:50.298
You got sick days and then you should come to work because if you ain't sick you should be at work.
00:18:50.298 --> 00:18:51.763
Vacation from what?
00:18:51.763 --> 00:18:54.002
What you vacationing from?
00:18:54.002 --> 00:18:57.545
You should be happy to have a job and if you ain't sick you should come to work.
