Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.621 --> 00:00:06.626
My mama comes in me and she fussing at my cousin these are all white.
00:00:06.626 --> 00:00:10.166
That's so boring.
00:00:10.166 --> 00:00:14.650
I don't want to give all white tennis shoes to Uncle So-and-so.
00:00:14.650 --> 00:00:17.106
Why would you do that?
00:00:17.106 --> 00:00:19.027
I don't think you tried hard at all.
00:00:19.027 --> 00:00:22.571
I think you just want to hurry up and rush to get to the Krispy Kreme.
00:00:22.571 --> 00:00:26.850
These are the kind of conversations she was having with middle schoolers.
00:00:26.850 --> 00:00:28.285
Lady, you know what you could do.
00:00:28.285 --> 00:00:33.612
You could hire some real shoppers and let us go outside and play.
00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:35.201
Parenting up.
00:00:35.201 --> 00:00:44.051
Caregiving adventures with comedian Jay Smiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama.
00:00:44.051 --> 00:00:57.762
For over a decade I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat Spoiler alert.
00:00:57.762 --> 00:00:59.548
This shit is heavy.
00:00:59.548 --> 00:01:01.667
That's why I started doing comedy.
00:01:01.667 --> 00:01:03.706
So be ready for the jokes.
00:01:03.706 --> 00:01:11.551
Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver.
00:01:11.551 --> 00:01:13.954
You are in the right place.
00:01:13.954 --> 00:01:17.209
Hi, this is Zeddy.
00:01:17.209 --> 00:01:20.972
I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast, is that okay?
00:01:20.972 --> 00:01:30.456
My Daughters Podcast Is that okay?
00:01:33.771 --> 00:01:37.867
Today's reporter shout-out comes from Zeddy To JG Parenting Up community.
00:01:37.867 --> 00:01:39.552
Go with me on this one.
00:01:39.552 --> 00:01:50.600
This is something that I know for sure.
00:01:50.600 --> 00:01:52.001
My mom would say if she had the wherewithal.
00:01:52.001 --> 00:01:57.768
She would say something like huh JG baby, I'm so proud of you and this is so good.
00:01:57.768 --> 00:02:07.037
You won the Boss Her Award in honor of your outstanding leadership.
00:02:07.037 --> 00:02:10.020
Janae J Smile Smith.
00:02:10.020 --> 00:02:19.368
Elite entertainer presented October 17th 2024.
00:02:19.368 --> 00:02:20.429
24.
00:02:20.429 --> 00:02:38.453
I am certain that Zetty would be over the moon that I received this award for my work as a comedian and a podcaster, a philanthropist and an advocate for caregivers and Alzheimer's awareness.
00:02:38.453 --> 00:02:47.814
So, on behalf of Zetty and I believe her, her social media handle would be Maverick8.
00:02:47.814 --> 00:02:51.086
Thank you, zetty.
00:02:53.639 --> 00:03:00.366
Festive frenzy holidays with Zetty Parenting up family.
00:03:00.366 --> 00:03:06.149
Zetty had one time a year that was so important.
00:03:06.149 --> 00:03:12.084
We called it Zedster, zeddy, zedmeister, all that kind of stuff, and it was the holidays.
00:03:12.084 --> 00:03:19.830
It was somewhere around the third or fourth week of November through the first week of January.
00:03:19.830 --> 00:03:26.486
It didn't matter what year it was, it didn't matter where we were in the world, it didn't matter what the temperature was.
00:03:26.486 --> 00:03:31.640
It was Zeddy time, it was go time, it was OK.
00:03:31.640 --> 00:03:38.873
We went from being broke in my lifetime to having what I'm going to call non broke money.
00:03:38.873 --> 00:03:53.074
Now I ain't talking, we're not super wealthy like over there, like with oil money where you can go buy an island and all that kind of stuff I'm talking about, no matter how many monies were or were not in the bank.
00:03:53.074 --> 00:04:09.127
That was Zeddy's time of year, you know how people would say, for the NBA players, or shall I say NBA fans, jordan and June, if you like basketball, michael Jordan and June that just meant Jordan in the playoffs.
00:04:09.419 --> 00:04:11.067
What's hilarious is Zayden didn't cook.
00:04:11.067 --> 00:04:13.927
So you would think it's the South.
00:04:13.927 --> 00:04:15.626
She's a Southern woman.
00:04:15.626 --> 00:04:18.288
Oh, I bet she had a recipe.
00:04:18.288 --> 00:04:24.333
Hell, no, her recipe was shopping, but not for herself.
00:04:24.333 --> 00:04:30.110
S&p was shopping but not for herself, and she didn't want to get what was on your list.
00:04:30.110 --> 00:04:31.754
Can y'all believe that?
00:04:31.754 --> 00:04:35.701
So she would make everybody give her a list.
00:04:35.701 --> 00:04:55.843
So you had to give a list of everything that you think you didn't get all the rest of the year, for your birthday, your anniversary, whatever, because she may have missed all them other days your birthday, your wedding anniversary, anything like that.
00:04:55.843 --> 00:04:59.850
She might have missed that and she didn't really care.
00:05:00.992 --> 00:05:08.242
But those last six weeks or so of the calendar year, baby, she was coming in strong In Zeddy's mind.
00:05:08.242 --> 00:05:17.475
She was about to make up for the whole other 11 months that she may or may not have made it to any of your events.
00:05:17.475 --> 00:05:19.283
If you had a housewarming.
00:05:19.283 --> 00:05:28.242
She probably wasn't there because what Zeddy was at work, she is still making up for whatever Dr King's dream that he didn't finish.
00:05:28.242 --> 00:05:31.709
She got to go to work but not them last six weeks.
00:05:31.709 --> 00:05:35.824
It is time to show everybody whatever she didn't get done.
00:05:37.105 --> 00:05:49.189
But this to catch y'all why your girl get you to make a list of all the things you wanted or didn't get, but she didn't really adhere to the list.
00:05:49.189 --> 00:05:53.045
Then it was good for saying okay.
00:05:53.045 --> 00:06:00.889
So JG says she wants a computer and a pair of boots and a leather coat.
00:06:00.889 --> 00:06:13.422
She don't need no boots, she'll just decide off of your list what she don't really think you need In the mall.
00:06:13.422 --> 00:06:31.492
Or even better than that, if your girl has and I'm licking my finger and folded, I'm dog earring I'm folding back the corners of the magazine my mama flew so much Delta Airlines.
00:06:31.492 --> 00:06:43.752
She exclusively flew Delta Airlines, and not because she's a member of Delta, sigma, theta, sorority Incorporated, but because from Montgomery Alabama, going through Atlanta, either you flew Delta or you were going to ride the bus.
00:06:43.752 --> 00:06:45.725
Either it's Delta or Greyhound.
00:06:45.725 --> 00:06:48.273
So who the hell wants to fly Greyhound?
00:06:48.273 --> 00:06:49.120
That sounds stupid.
00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:52.206
So SkyMile magazine.
00:06:53.569 --> 00:07:00.187
Before the internet, you could get the cutest, most unique gifts out of SkyMile magazine.
00:07:00.187 --> 00:07:11.170
Zetty was infamous for deciding somewhere around September and October what she thought whoever in the family really needed.
00:07:11.170 --> 00:07:16.257
That they didn't know nothing about because they weren't flying as much as she was.
00:07:16.257 --> 00:07:21.692
And she saw it in this magazine that she was picking the color and the size.
00:07:21.692 --> 00:07:29.208
So people who might not have even known the thing exists, she getting them like stamp collectors.
00:07:29.208 --> 00:07:31.074
Oh, I just thought this would be.
00:07:31.074 --> 00:07:37.391
You know you were going to retire and this Zeddy is like moving her shoulders left and right like a little Southern belle.
00:07:37.391 --> 00:07:40.464
You know how you were talking about retiring next year.
00:07:40.464 --> 00:07:45.093
Well, they have this book of stamps and I have gotten it for you.
00:07:45.093 --> 00:07:46.867
So you will be able to have a new hobby.
00:07:46.867 --> 00:07:51.428
This lady might not auntie so-and-so, who I'm calling.
00:07:51.428 --> 00:08:02.447
This lady might not have given a damn about stamps her whole life, but Zeddy has fallen in love with this thing in the Sky Miles magazine, sky Mall magazine, excuse me.
00:08:02.447 --> 00:08:08.360
And Zeddy thinks that when she retires she would like to collect stamps.
00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:11.346
So she's thinking auntie might like to do it.
00:08:11.346 --> 00:08:13.673
Y'all get your girl Zeddy.
00:08:14.781 --> 00:08:16.185
Jj says she wanted some boots.
00:08:16.185 --> 00:08:17.589
How come I can't get the boots?
00:08:17.589 --> 00:08:20.264
Well, jj, look at this.
00:08:20.264 --> 00:08:32.981
Look what mama found this.
00:08:32.981 --> 00:08:33.423
Look what mama found.
00:08:33.423 --> 00:08:33.724
Look at this.
00:08:33.724 --> 00:08:42.775
This is a calculator that's pocket size, that has rhinestones on it and, like y'all know anybody who's like a real accountant or whatever, you know how they had a little tape with the little paper on it on the back.
00:08:42.775 --> 00:08:46.042
So she's getting me that because she's like that's what mama has.
00:08:46.042 --> 00:08:48.066
So now you and mommy can match.
00:08:48.066 --> 00:08:49.990
I don't want to match.
00:08:49.990 --> 00:08:53.205
I don't need the little tape at the end.
00:08:53.205 --> 00:08:54.889
I'm doing regular math.
00:08:54.889 --> 00:09:00.261
Nobody at my school has asked me to ever have these little tape things.
00:09:00.261 --> 00:09:07.975
But this is how she went about spending the last six weeks of the year, every year.
00:09:08.860 --> 00:09:12.408
But she was so sweet and so loving.
00:09:12.408 --> 00:09:16.503
She didn't cuss, she didn't drink, she didn't smoke, she didn't try to take nobody man.
00:09:16.503 --> 00:09:20.653
She didn't even take nobody's number from nobody else.
00:09:20.653 --> 00:09:22.001
It's a man who's trying to hit on her.
00:09:22.001 --> 00:09:28.714
So nobody ever told her hey, why didn't you just get stuff that was on my list?
00:09:28.714 --> 00:09:35.514
Now I will say this the gifts that she did buy were high quality, normally colorful.
00:09:35.514 --> 00:09:41.673
She would give you the warranty and she'd give you the receipt and say you could take it back if you wanted to.
00:09:41.673 --> 00:09:48.753
So it was hard to tell her hey, lady, why didn't you just get the thing I asked for?
00:09:48.753 --> 00:09:52.087
Oh, this is so sweet.
00:09:53.101 --> 00:10:04.246
A lot of people call her Mama Zeddy or Mama Vet, and they fell for it Over and over again.
00:10:04.246 --> 00:10:08.029
Now let me tell you what else about your girl.
00:10:08.029 --> 00:10:11.274
Now, all of this is what I'm going to call BA.
00:10:11.274 --> 00:10:17.085
Y'all know how they got BC before Christ, ba Before Alzheimer's.
00:10:17.085 --> 00:10:19.788
This is Zeddy before Alzheimer's.
00:10:19.788 --> 00:10:24.368
I ain't talking about arts, I'm talking about before the Alzheimer's got it.
00:10:26.160 --> 00:10:28.107
Let me tell you what you ain't never want to do.
00:10:28.107 --> 00:10:32.720
This is part two baby by Zeddy in them last six weeks.
00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:36.009
What you didn't ever want to do is go shopping with her.
00:10:36.009 --> 00:10:37.705
It could sound like fun.
00:10:37.705 --> 00:10:40.268
She would make it sound fun to you.
00:10:40.268 --> 00:10:43.750
Ooh, you want to go with me?
00:10:43.750 --> 00:10:47.066
Mama's going to the mall.
00:10:47.066 --> 00:10:50.168
Or she'd tell my cousins hey, mama Beth's going to the mall.
00:10:50.168 --> 00:10:50.990
Y'all want to go with me?
00:10:50.990 --> 00:10:57.746
At the end we can get pizza, or we can get Krispy Kreme hot donuts from anybody who ain't from the deep South.
00:10:57.746 --> 00:11:18.903
Listen, the way they timed it in Montgomery they had the red light come on right when the mall was closing and my mama would get everybody their own half dozen box, so you didn't have to share, but she was setting you up to go to the mall and then you thought, well, she'll probably get you $20 to go get you something.
00:11:18.903 --> 00:11:26.424
What you did not want to do was go to the mall with her in that last six weeks.
00:11:26.424 --> 00:11:36.812
It wasn't worth the Krispy Kreme and it wasn't worth the $20 that you might be able to use to go to the arcade or to go get yourself some candy or a t-shirt or something.
00:11:36.812 --> 00:11:55.941
Cause, baby, let me tell you something Reality TV, whether it's survivor or love, is blind or big brother, any.
00:11:55.941 --> 00:12:07.754
From the beginning of reality TV all the way down to Atlanta Housewives Nobody ain't got a reality TV or all of the ones where you go shopping real fast through the grocery store and got nothing on Zeddy.
00:12:07.754 --> 00:12:10.389
Zeddy would get us in that mall.
00:12:11.519 --> 00:12:17.427
And I'm going to tell you all about this and divide us up with lists.
00:12:17.427 --> 00:12:27.009
And divide us up with lists and you felt like you were a failure if you didn't finish your list.
00:12:27.009 --> 00:12:32.255
Okay, she gave you a list and it has circles on.
00:12:32.255 --> 00:12:35.543
Everything had a legend, so, like the list had circles on Okay.
00:12:35.563 --> 00:12:44.916
So you go in the department store, jj, you go in the department store and you're looking for a scarf and a man's wallet and a lady's purse.
00:12:44.916 --> 00:13:03.682
I'm like 12 and 13.
00:13:03.682 --> 00:13:05.267
How the hell am I picking out a man's wallet, a lady's scarf and a purse?
00:13:05.267 --> 00:13:05.989
For what lady mama, and for what man?
00:13:05.989 --> 00:13:10.481
Well, just get black and get a brown one and get a nice scarf about yay big and she's gonna hold her hands out I know what yay big is for a scarf.
00:13:10.481 --> 00:13:19.438
And, like my cousin might have to go to a shoe store or to the mother cousin got to go to the athletic store.
00:13:19.438 --> 00:13:32.682
He's supposed to be picking out maybe sweatshirts and tennis shoes and we all have sizes and man or woman, kid or not kid.
00:13:33.222 --> 00:13:36.749
And then at the end of the mall is Toys R Us.
00:13:36.749 --> 00:13:40.134
Yes, this is when Toys R Us was still a store.
00:13:40.134 --> 00:13:52.111
Now everybody else in the mall our size, meaning our age they're walking around and they're picking out gifts for themselves.
00:13:52.111 --> 00:13:54.186
You understand what I'm saying.
00:13:54.186 --> 00:13:59.192
Y'all they're going around picking out gifts for themselves, for their birthday or for a sleepover.
00:13:59.192 --> 00:14:00.863
We are shopping.
00:14:03.450 --> 00:14:07.065
Here comes the best part we don't have no money.
00:14:07.065 --> 00:14:09.071
Remember we're in middle school?
00:14:09.071 --> 00:14:11.383
We ain't got no credit card.
00:14:11.383 --> 00:14:19.975
She about to give us enough cash to go buy Nikes and Reeboks and suede shoes and ill skin.
00:14:19.975 --> 00:14:23.389
Yeah, y'all remember that old school ill skin wallets.
00:14:23.389 --> 00:14:29.873
So everybody had to go to their respective store pick out all this stuff.
00:14:29.873 --> 00:14:39.701
Yeah, that means I got to talk the lady behind the counter into believing my mama is really about to come pay for this shit later.
00:14:39.701 --> 00:14:46.099
But, ma'am, could you please I'm sorry, ma'am, could I see that black ill skin?
00:14:46.099 --> 00:15:02.955
Okay, and then I need this gray purse over here and then that that um scar, that's yay big, with the flowers on it, and can you just hold them all over here to the side Because my mama's going to come pay for it.
00:15:02.955 --> 00:15:08.044
Do you know how crazy that sounds when you're in middle school?
00:15:08.044 --> 00:15:18.749
But my cousins are saying the same thing, that same kind of thing, in the foot locker store, and somebody else is down in the tours.
00:15:18.828 --> 00:15:22.335
Are us trying to find the games?
00:15:22.335 --> 00:15:25.767
But Zeddy wanted to buy educational toys.
00:15:25.767 --> 00:15:28.451
Who the hell wants educational toys?
00:15:28.451 --> 00:15:30.461
And we're trying to talk her out of that.
00:15:30.461 --> 00:15:31.764
She's like no, no, no, no.
00:15:31.764 --> 00:15:34.849
I know that they want, uh, the video games.
00:15:34.849 --> 00:15:38.153
But look at this, look at these.
00:15:38.153 --> 00:15:40.256
This is even better.
00:15:40.256 --> 00:15:41.298
What?
00:15:41.298 --> 00:15:44.346
Because she saw it in the stupid SkyMall magazine.
00:15:44.346 --> 00:15:53.994
So these are supposedly board games for kids, where you're going to learn math and you're going to learn how to do a chemistry experiment.
00:15:53.994 --> 00:16:04.541
Chemistry experiment Didn't?
00:16:04.541 --> 00:16:05.724
Nobody want to do that?
00:16:05.744 --> 00:16:10.913
Do you know how many adult salespersons did not want to wait on us and did not want to hold all these products off to the side?
00:16:10.913 --> 00:16:13.222
Why would they believe us?
00:16:13.222 --> 00:16:21.826
They are like ah, little girl, where is your mama, and don't have me holding this stuff over here and I could get a real sale.
00:16:21.826 --> 00:16:24.033
And your mama don't come.
00:16:24.033 --> 00:16:31.832
Y'all, we don't have no pagers, no cell phones, no way to communicate with each other.
00:16:31.832 --> 00:16:35.025
Hey, has Zeddy showed up in your store?
00:16:35.025 --> 00:16:37.370
Have you gotten your stuff?
00:16:37.370 --> 00:16:47.801
Did you get to?
00:16:47.801 --> 00:16:49.327
Have you been freed to go to get to the arcade game or get your candy?
00:16:49.327 --> 00:16:51.899
Because, you know, after she came and paid for the stuff, then you got to go spend your $20.
00:16:51.899 --> 00:16:53.225
Well, you under spent it.
00:16:53.225 --> 00:16:56.745
I'm sitting here with my hands full right now.
00:16:56.745 --> 00:16:58.768
This is shit, is making me mad all over again.
00:16:58.768 --> 00:17:06.204
It was awful Every freaking year, but she would come bouncing in to your store when it was your turn.
00:17:06.244 --> 00:17:10.950
She was like hey, let me see what you got.
00:17:10.950 --> 00:17:15.948
What'd you pick out and correct this?
00:17:15.948 --> 00:17:19.670
Heifer, remember, I didn't told y'all you can't call your mama the B word.
00:17:19.670 --> 00:17:21.646
But in the deep south you can't call a heifer.
00:17:21.646 --> 00:17:25.425
This heifer would never satisfy with what I picked.
00:17:26.008 --> 00:17:29.645
Jg, what kind of purse is that?
00:17:29.645 --> 00:17:32.766
Who would want a gray purse?
00:17:32.766 --> 00:17:36.326
It's so dank, it's so drab.
00:17:36.326 --> 00:17:39.907
Mama, I don't even have a purse.
00:17:39.907 --> 00:17:43.038
I'm in middle school, I'm 12, I'm 13.
00:17:43.038 --> 00:17:44.101
I got a backpack.
00:17:44.101 --> 00:17:52.605
I put all my books in there, I put my lip gloss in my jean pocket and now you mad at me and you said you're gonna be back in 30 minutes.
00:17:52.665 --> 00:17:59.330
It's been an hour and this lady over here thinks I'm either trying to steal or I'm wasting her time.
00:17:59.330 --> 00:18:01.267
Oh, jj, don't be like that.
00:18:01.267 --> 00:18:02.864
Who would think you would steal?
00:18:02.864 --> 00:18:08.109
Look at you, baby, come on, come on.
00:18:08.109 --> 00:18:10.626
Where's that winning smile Mama taught you to have?
00:18:10.626 --> 00:18:30.580
Oh, listen, listen.
00:18:30.580 --> 00:18:33.028
This woman that y'all love and knows is always so festive and loving and sweet and kind.
00:18:33.028 --> 00:18:39.142
Now, on all the little videos, I'm not saying I didn't love her in those moments, her in those moments.
00:18:39.142 --> 00:18:51.752
I'm just saying she could be frustrated and she could be trying, because while it was, you know, the season of joy and jolliness, right, because you know, november through December, there are a lot of people celebrating a lot of stuff and a whole lot of people with their family.
00:18:51.752 --> 00:19:06.974
But what you didn't want to do is be in middle school buying gifts for not yourself and not your friends and being treated like you were under child labor laws.
00:19:06.974 --> 00:19:11.133
That was awful.
00:19:11.133 --> 00:19:20.834
But what I can say about Zetty is she kept her promise.
00:19:21.986 --> 00:19:31.776
We did always go to Krispy Kreme and everybody did always get their own box of six hot glazed donuts.
00:19:31.776 --> 00:19:34.192
We got our own thing of milk.
00:19:34.192 --> 00:20:00.351
I always wanted chocolate, my cousins always wanted the regular plain white milk and we always had so many jokes in the car about my mama and how she played us because whatever she put on the list, we did our best to get what was on our list and she wasn't ever satisfied with what we picked, because she's a grown woman, she knows what she mean about.
00:20:00.351 --> 00:20:02.055
Oh get it, oh get the.
00:20:02.055 --> 00:20:08.272
Get the nikes that have the such and such and the this, with the blue top and the black what.
00:20:09.315 --> 00:20:15.696
We just walk in and say, hey, I need a pair of Nikes that's a size 10 for a man, that's black with some blue on it and whatever.
00:20:15.696 --> 00:20:18.690
They bring that back.
00:20:18.690 --> 00:20:19.653
Guess what?
00:20:19.653 --> 00:20:23.194
Size 10 is the most common size for men.
00:20:23.194 --> 00:20:26.213
So when they come back and tell you they don't have that size.
00:20:26.213 --> 00:20:29.949
Then you just say, well, just give me some Nikes, that's a 10 for a man.
00:20:29.949 --> 00:20:31.954
So then they bring notes and they all white.
00:20:32.265 --> 00:20:38.308
My mama comes in Me and she fussing at my cousin these are all white.
00:20:38.308 --> 00:20:41.817
That's so boring.
00:20:41.817 --> 00:20:46.316
I don't want to give all white tennis shoes to Uncle So-and-so.
00:20:46.316 --> 00:20:48.773
Why would you do that?
00:20:48.773 --> 00:20:50.672
I don't think you tried hard at all.
00:20:50.672 --> 00:20:54.215
I think you just want to hurry up and rush to get to the Krispy Kreme.
00:20:54.215 --> 00:20:58.496
These are the kind of conversations she was having with middle schoolers.
00:20:58.496 --> 00:20:59.930
Lady, you know what you could do.
00:20:59.930 --> 00:21:09.053
You could hire some real shoppers and let us go outside and play or leave us alone, but you're going to chastise us.
00:21:09.053 --> 00:21:12.394
My cousin went there and asked for what you said.
00:21:12.394 --> 00:21:13.695
They ain't had a size.
00:21:13.695 --> 00:21:15.992
Now you going to beat him over the head.
00:21:15.992 --> 00:21:21.973
Why didn't you order these damn shoes back in February from the Sears and Roebuck catalog, like everybody else?
00:21:21.973 --> 00:21:22.536
For good sense?
00:21:22.536 --> 00:21:24.772
No, no, no, no.
00:21:24.772 --> 00:21:28.855
You want to take the bad news bears with you to the mall.
00:21:32.965 --> 00:21:42.188
Anyway, on the way home it was a whole lot of singing and laughing and Krispy Kreme eating and bless her heart every year.
00:21:42.188 --> 00:21:54.756
Some kind of way she ran out of time and ended up where no adult would go shopping with us and she would have to talk her daughter and my janky ass cousins into it again.
00:21:54.756 --> 00:21:56.719
We were the best she could have.
00:21:56.719 --> 00:21:57.767
We were the best.
