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April 28, 2024

Caregiver Protection: Tips From An Expert

Caregiver Protection: Tips From An Expert

When I began the caretaking journey for my mom, I was not prepared for the twists and turns ahead. Now, with caregiving expert Pamela D. Wilson by our side, we unravel the complexities and joys of caring for those we love. Pamela's personal and professional experiences, including courtrooms and care facilities, serve as the backdrop for our conversation, bringing to light the skills and resilience it takes to navigate this path.

The medical system can be daunting, but together, we dissect the challenges caregivers face, from validating the hallucinations of our loved ones to the nitty-gritty of legal recognition. It's not just about the somber moments; we share laughs over the unpredictable scenarios that pop up, like chasing a client through hospital corridors. This episode is a testament to the problem-solving heroics and unexpected moments of humor that come with the territory.

In the heartfelt camaraderie of our chat, we also confront the reality of family struggles that weigh down even the most dedicated caregivers. You'll find solace in our shared experiences and leave with strategies to more effectively advocate for your loved one. Whether you're a veteran in the caregiving arena or donning the cap for the first time, let this episode be your beacon of hope and practical wisdom. 

#CaregivingJourney
#CaregivingExperience
#FamilyCaregiving
#ElderCare
#fiduciary
#CaregiverResources
#expertwitness
#HumorInCaregiving
#AdvocacyInCaregiving
#CaregiverPodcast
#PamelaDWilsonCaregiver

"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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Chapters

00:02 - The Journey of Caregiver Expertise

14:20 - Caregiver Challenges in Medical System

29:59 - Unique Experiences of a Caregiver

34:57 - Navigating Caregiving Challenges and Resources

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:02.043 --> 00:00:03.104
parenting up family.

00:00:03.104 --> 00:00:32.601
I found the CIA, kgb caregiver extraordinary, expert kind of person I didn't even know these types of specialties could exist in caregiving in caregiving.

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Today's guest actually has real life experience as an expert witness in caregiving.

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She was a caregiver for her mom, for her grandfather, Then she's helped others as a fiduciary, which is a big old fancy word for saying I'm not married to you, I'm not related to you, but I'm legally responsible for you, so if something happened to you I'm going to get in trouble as if I were your wife or your mom or something.

00:00:58.926 --> 00:01:01.731
I mean, wow, you're talking about.

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Committed to the notion of caring for people.

00:01:06.055 --> 00:01:21.793
What a dude at Her name is Pamela D Wilson, and the D stands for determined to help you better as a caregiver.

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Come on, lean in, listen and watch.

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Here we go.

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Come on, come on, come on.

00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:38.671
Parenting Up Caregiving Adventures with Comedian J Smiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama.

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For over a decade I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything, with a heartbeat Spoiler alert.

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I started comedy because this shit is so heavy, so be ready for the jokes.

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Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver.

00:02:01.530 --> 00:02:03.933
You are in the right place.

00:02:03.933 --> 00:02:08.830
Hi, this is Zeddy.

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I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast, the WK Caregiver protection Tips from an expert.

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Parenting Up family.

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We are introducing a new segment.

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Supporters Shout Out going to highlight a review, a comment, somebody who lets us know that they really enjoy the podcast.

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Will you be next?

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Ha ha, ha ha ha.

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You got to get the review in.

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There will be gifts.

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I can't tell you what it is.

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You got to get your review in.

00:03:06.985 --> 00:03:14.550
Anyway, the very first supporter shout out Bionic Jam.

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Apple Reviews the title Love this Show.

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I know that's right.

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Okay, that was me.

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Five stars, and I quote I absolutely love this show.

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I have been a listener of nearly a year now and the things Jay shares with us about what she is going through really hit home.

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It is a wonderful thing that she is sharing with us and helps me keep my sanity period.

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Omg, thank you so much, bionic Jam.

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Knowing that any part of this journey is helping with your sanity keeps us moving here at the Parenting Up family.

00:04:06.210 --> 00:04:07.592
Thank you.

00:04:07.592 --> 00:04:24.314
Our Parenting Up community is growing so fast I can't put out an episode as fast as we are growing, so text PODCAST to 404-737-1449 for updates, exclusives and suggestions on topics.

00:04:24.314 --> 00:04:27.822
While you're at it, share an episode with the caregiver you love.

00:04:27.822 --> 00:04:31.891
Review on Apple Podcasts and follow us on social media.

00:04:31.891 --> 00:04:35.564
Subscribe to our YouTube page, please.

00:04:35.564 --> 00:04:39.672
It really helps Parenting Up family, you know.

00:04:39.672 --> 00:04:41.401
We like to bring it to you straight.

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I like to give you things that you can't find other places, ways where the caregiver can actually be better.

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Everybody's always talking about.

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Can we solve Alzheimer's?

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Well, yeah we want to.

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But in the meantime, what the hell can we do to help ourselves?

00:04:57.961 --> 00:05:08.815
Well, today I went searching high and low my grandfather would have said, from the rooter to the tooter, and I found Pamela D Wilson.

00:05:08.815 --> 00:05:09.923
Welcome.

00:05:09.963 --> 00:05:12.646
Pamela, thank you, I'm glad to be here.

00:05:15.221 --> 00:05:17.021
Thank you, thank you, thank you, man.

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I cannot wait for everyone to hear how specialized you've become as a caregiver expert.

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I mean, I didn't even know they really had that.

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I wish I had known about you and your field when I was thrust into this role with my mom over a decade ago.

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But that's OK, better late than never.

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Tell us just real briefly how do you even get to claim yourself as a caregiver expert?

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Now, we're going to get into the juicy bits later, but the word expert is big, so what allows you to be able to say such a thing?

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Probably 20,000 hours of on the ground actual work, either as a caregiver in my own family, but more so as a care manager and professional fiduciary helping caregivers and older adults and their families.

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I've been everywhere caregivers have in the hospital, in the nursing home, in the morgue, I mean you name it.

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I've been there on the ground and so that has kind of built up my expertise in so many situations because I've been exposed to more than the average person would be, just because of the breadth of my work.

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That's amazing.

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You got me beat on the morgue.

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Amazing.

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You got me beat on the morgue.

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I haven't been in the morgue.

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I don't want to go to the morgue.

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No, you don't want to get calls from the morgue?

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No, I don't even want to know where the morgue is actually.

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I don't know where the morgue is.

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I've never known where the morgue is.

00:07:01.918 --> 00:07:03.764
Now that I think about it and I don't care to know.

00:07:03.764 --> 00:07:05.187
That's a place you know.

00:07:05.187 --> 00:07:12.281
I just want to pay my taxes and I would like to know that there is a morgue in every city in the United States, somewhere, and that's enough.

00:07:12.281 --> 00:07:13.223
That's enough for me.

00:07:13.223 --> 00:07:19.944
That's one of those things where you know they say it's better, if you don't know, just pay your taxes and let some politician take care of it.

00:07:19.944 --> 00:07:22.305
Great, that's one of those things.

00:07:22.305 --> 00:07:35.470
That's one of those things who you said you cared for people in your family or very close friends, who did you care for and what was their ailment?

00:07:36.821 --> 00:07:40.132
So my mother and many ailments.

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She, you know, grew up at a time when there was no health awareness.

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So she smoked, so she had cardiovascular problems, she had strokes, she got hepatitis because she needed quadruple bypass surgery and at the time they weren't testing blood.

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She had fractures, I mean, you name it, she had it.

00:08:03.447 --> 00:08:12.795
And from the time I was in my 20s until the time she passed away, not only me but my sisters, my brothers, my dad, all of us were her caregiver.

00:08:15.641 --> 00:08:17.507
And this was your mom, my mom.

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And then other people in my family.

00:08:22.036 --> 00:08:22.399
Where did you grow?

00:08:22.420 --> 00:08:28.077
up oh Omaha, Nebraska, and then other people in my family.

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Where did you grow up?

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Oh, Omaha, Nebraska.

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You don't meet many people from Omaha.

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It's like you all stay there.

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Well, I've left Warren Buffett is from Omaha, yeah.

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And the steaks, yeah, oh yes, the best.

00:08:49.461 --> 00:08:53.629
Yes, ok, your mom.

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So she had a lot of ailments.

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Yeah, smoking.

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From what I hear in the news and statistics it has come back.

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I mean, for some reason people under 25 are smoking again, as if we don't have proof of what it can do to your body.

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So, anyway, we're not going to talk about that anymore.

00:09:22.182 --> 00:09:25.731
So you were a caregiver very young.

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Very young and even you know my grandmother was older.

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She didn't have a lot of ailments.

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My uncle did have Alzheimer's and dementia.

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So because I was the youngest of six kids, I was around a lot of older people who had health problems.

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How did you feel as a kid, seeing aging, ailing people.

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Were you afraid?

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Were you comfortable around them?

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Did you try to avoid it?

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How did you handle it?

00:09:55.299 --> 00:10:06.702
You know, I wasn't afraid because a lot of these older family members doted on me when I was, you know, two or three or four, and so I love them, so I would go visit my grandmother.

00:10:06.702 --> 00:10:18.400
The panic set in when every Sunday, like clockwork almost, my mother would call in the evening saying I don't feel good, I need to go to the emergency room.

00:10:18.400 --> 00:10:21.284
So I, like many caregivers, got trained.

00:10:21.284 --> 00:10:29.844
It's like when this thing rings, it's not good, it's going to be a problem and you probably have to show up somewhere.

00:10:32.368 --> 00:10:34.150
Yeah, that phone ringing.

00:10:34.150 --> 00:11:11.335
I often I say it kind of tongue in cheek, but once you are a family caregiver which I like to distinguish between individuals who are professional caregivers, who have been trained and they're paid and they it's a job for them, just like if you are a school teacher or a fireman or, you know, a senator and at some point you go home, or if you're an engineer or a truck driver home, or if you're an engineer or a truck driver, but if you're a family care giver I'm laughing, though, because you're saying and you go home.

00:11:11.414 --> 00:11:21.462
So if I can just say something really quick about that, the years that I was in professional caregiving from 2000 to 2018, I was on 24 seven.

00:11:21.462 --> 00:11:29.754
My phone rang at 2 in the morning, at 3 in the morning, on vacations, when I was out at dinner all the time.

00:11:29.754 --> 00:11:36.592
So for some professional caregivers it is a 24-7, 365 job.

00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:41.446
I appreciate that clarification.

00:11:43.770 --> 00:11:44.873
Thank you, you're welcome.

00:11:44.873 --> 00:11:53.246
I was a legal fiduciary, so I didn't?

00:11:53.287 --> 00:11:53.467
you know?

00:11:53.467 --> 00:11:54.953
I don't want to say I didn't have a choice.

00:11:54.953 --> 00:11:56.519
I chose to do that, I chose to be under those constraints.

00:11:57.482 --> 00:12:00.215
So you are one of those odd birds.

00:12:09.668 --> 00:12:10.552
Very, very odd bird, very niche work.

00:12:10.552 --> 00:12:12.240
Probably not a lot of people have done what I've done.

00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:20.461
That further explains why you can say I am an expert in caregiving.

00:12:20.461 --> 00:12:31.955
I've seen it all, I've done a bunch, because there are not many professional caregivers who can say, yes, 24-7, I did everything all the time.

00:12:31.955 --> 00:12:33.296
Yeah, that's rare.

00:12:33.296 --> 00:12:47.994
So kudos to you for taking on that responsibility and then taking it so seriously, because just because you are on call, it doesn't mean you actually answer the call.

00:12:47.994 --> 00:12:49.461
But I won't.

00:12:49.461 --> 00:12:57.434
I'm not going to name any names for people who haven't always answered my call, even though I was paying them and they were in the medical field.

00:12:57.434 --> 00:13:00.287
This is not a bashing type podcast.

00:13:00.287 --> 00:13:01.490
That's not what I do here.

00:13:03.721 --> 00:13:04.865
No, but that is true.

00:13:09.059 --> 00:13:09.682
Yeah, that is true.

00:13:09.682 --> 00:13:10.423
Yeah, I mean, it happens, it happens.

00:13:10.423 --> 00:13:24.000
Share with us how you decided no-transcript.

00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:26.422
They don't always have an advocate.

00:13:26.422 --> 00:13:29.856
What I love so much about your work, ok, let me.

00:13:29.856 --> 00:13:31.019
Let me just back up a little bit.

00:13:31.019 --> 00:13:53.177
Ok, parenting up community this is what Pamela D Wilson the D is very important OK, so if everybody is trying to find her and she's going to give us her information toward the end of this conversation conversation, but you got to put that D in there, all right.

00:13:53.177 --> 00:14:03.615
What's amazing is she knows that this is a marathon and that if we don't keep ourselves super glued and taped up and fortified, we're not going to make it.

00:14:03.615 --> 00:14:18.851
And what I want to know, pamela, is what happened along your professional journey that really opened up your heart for you to care enough to put us first, the caregivers.

00:14:20.495 --> 00:14:21.337
I think again.

00:14:21.337 --> 00:14:32.321
It goes back to my childhood and being around older people and loving them, Then being a caregiver for my family right my mother and understanding what that was like.

00:14:32.321 --> 00:14:49.249
And then, after her death, looking back and thinking before, when I was getting into this part of my career oh my gosh, everything I didn't know, that the doctors didn't tell us that, no one told that things we could have done, things we should have done.

00:14:49.249 --> 00:14:55.192
So it was that retrospect of saying, oh my gosh, I've had this experience.

00:14:55.192 --> 00:15:05.047
I'm going to delve into this and figure out how to help people so they don't have to go through what I went through or what somebody else went through or what people continually go through when I talk to them.

00:15:05.554 --> 00:15:08.784
Thank you, I do believe that it is better.

00:15:08.784 --> 00:15:11.321
You know I don't believe in that.

00:15:11.321 --> 00:15:15.105
Well, I had to go through it, so you go through it.

00:15:15.105 --> 00:15:20.923
I'm like, no, no, because I went through it, you should not have to go through it.

00:15:20.923 --> 00:15:52.351
Yeah, absolutely, I know you have said in some of your work you have talked about Sometimes your loved one may hear and or see things or be talking to people that aren't really there and that caregivers can have a tough time in knowing what to do with that.

00:15:52.351 --> 00:16:12.359
Right, yes, how do you help people respond Right, and this is a question that really is very useful, especially for what I call newbie caregivers, is very useful, especially for what I call newbie caregivers.

00:16:12.359 --> 00:16:21.804
And the first time your LO maybe is hallucinating or they're having conversations with individuals that you don't see, what kind of suggestions would you have for them?

00:16:23.735 --> 00:16:30.275
So you have to not try to correct them and you want to kind of be where you think they are right.

00:16:30.275 --> 00:16:36.028
So I would never say, oh, you're making that up or you're not seeing that.

00:16:36.028 --> 00:16:42.168
You kind of go along with it and say, well, gosh, who are you talking to and what are you talking about?

00:16:42.168 --> 00:16:47.320
So it's kind of like a little distraction technique, as long as they're not afraid of this person.

00:16:47.320 --> 00:16:55.301
Now I had a lady who would see bugs on her wall and I'm like, oh, let me just go and I'll, I'll wash them off and then let's go in the other room, you know.

00:16:55.301 --> 00:16:56.325
So.

00:16:56.325 --> 00:17:02.917
So a lot of it is validating what they think they're saying and talking to them about it and say, well, gosh, is that scary for you?

00:17:02.917 --> 00:17:04.718
How does that feel?

00:17:04.718 --> 00:17:06.019
Tell me what you're seeing.

00:17:06.019 --> 00:17:11.021
You don't you never discount what they're seeing, because they may really be seeing it?

00:17:11.021 --> 00:17:13.163
Just because you're not doesn't mean it's not there.

00:17:13.983 --> 00:17:17.105
True, I agree with that completely.

00:17:17.105 --> 00:17:22.489
I say that a lot to individuals who ask me for advice.

00:17:22.489 --> 00:17:25.289
Let's say how do you know?

00:17:25.289 --> 00:17:25.810
It's not there.

00:17:25.810 --> 00:17:29.952
I mean truthfully, I don't know.

00:17:29.952 --> 00:17:43.694
I mean, the same way, stevie Wonder can make music and hear notes that I don't hear.

00:17:43.694 --> 00:17:51.148
Now, he doesn't have vision, but he has hearing and touch that I don't possess.

00:17:51.148 --> 00:17:55.442
So you know, my mom's nickname is Zeddy.

00:17:55.535 --> 00:17:59.362
I said, you know, there are things that she may attempt.

00:17:59.362 --> 00:18:07.321
Now, how dare I chastise her as if my way is right, as long as whatever it is is not harming her.

00:18:07.321 --> 00:18:11.666
I'm like, well, what the hell you know that's right.

00:18:11.666 --> 00:18:15.862
Tell me this have you had clients?

00:18:15.862 --> 00:18:19.996
I'm sure you have when?

00:18:21.441 --> 00:18:39.269
Well, let me just say this this has been a pisser for me when doctors especially doctors, because they have the white coat, and, pamela, when the people have the white coat on we go to them and we're wanting something just short of a miracle.

00:18:39.269 --> 00:18:43.523
We want some medicine, we want some answers, we want a solution.

00:18:43.523 --> 00:18:48.984
And then we go to them and we're talking to them and they don't have the answer.

00:18:48.984 --> 00:19:07.826
And then often they're responding to us in a way that may be intimidating or it may not be comforting, and then either we don't get what we need and maybe we stop going back, or we get pissed off.

00:19:07.826 --> 00:19:11.230
How do you, you know, have you dealt with that?

00:19:11.230 --> 00:19:25.109
Or how would you suggest people, caregivers, respond in that way Because you're trying to take up for your LO and, you know like not storm out of the doctor's office.

00:19:26.615 --> 00:19:29.803
I deal with this on an ongoing basis.

00:19:29.803 --> 00:19:33.818
As you mentioned before, working with the healthcare system is frustrating.

00:19:33.818 --> 00:19:47.487
So one of the first things is you've got to be recognized as the caregiver, because a lot of times the doctors because it's a doctor-patient relationship, right and you're not the patient they're not even paying attention to the caregiver.

00:19:47.487 --> 00:19:52.070
So it helps if you are the medical power of attorney or the guardian.

00:19:52.070 --> 00:19:54.057
That's helpful because you have some legal standing.

00:19:54.057 --> 00:19:58.717
But if you don't, you know, make a friend with the nurse in the office or somebody else.

00:19:58.717 --> 00:20:05.377
If you have to, if you need to send questions in advance and you have access to the portal, do that.

00:20:05.479 --> 00:20:11.553
So you have to be an advocate and you have to not be afraid of the white coats, right, because they're intimidating.

00:20:11.553 --> 00:20:16.585
They speak in language that the average person does not understand and you can't give up.

00:20:16.585 --> 00:20:22.626
You have to say look, we have this problem and I'm going to keep coming back until you help me solve this problem.

00:20:22.626 --> 00:20:26.461
And if you don't have the solution, is there a nurse here?

00:20:26.461 --> 00:20:27.663
Is there a social worker?

00:20:27.663 --> 00:20:31.450
Is there somebody else in this doctor's office who has the time to help me?

00:20:31.450 --> 00:20:35.691
Because, as you know, you're in and out in 10 or 15 minutes and it's like bye, bye.

00:20:37.837 --> 00:20:42.443
I know, OK, what do you talk us through?

00:20:42.443 --> 00:20:47.411
Making sure that you have the legal standing and those documents.

00:20:47.411 --> 00:20:53.818
Sure that you have the legal standing and those documents right.

00:20:53.818 --> 00:21:06.884
I know, often people may have a power of attorney and they may have the paperwork that says, hey, if mom or dad, if my LO, is unable to speak for themselves, then I get to talk.

00:21:06.884 --> 00:21:26.541
But you know, a lot of times as an LO you're like, yeah, but you know mom or dad or my cousin, they walked in here, they know their birthday, they can say, yeah, my name is Jay Smiles, and so can they still jump in and talk with as much authority.

00:21:26.541 --> 00:21:41.932
I have found that caregivers might not take as much ownership of their family member when their family member is still, you know, a bit able to communicate.

00:21:44.494 --> 00:21:49.199
Well, you always have to be conscious of not taking over if the person can still speak.

00:21:49.199 --> 00:21:57.506
But if you are that medical power of attorney, sometimes you have to explain the responsibility to the medical profession.

00:21:57.506 --> 00:21:58.907
They should know right.

00:21:58.907 --> 00:22:04.571
But there's a difference between what they see as medical capacity and legal capacity.

00:22:08.434 --> 00:22:14.616
Legal capacity and so when I was a power of attorney, I would take my documents and I would put them on file at the doctor's office and I would say you don't change medications unless you talk to me.

00:22:14.616 --> 00:22:19.577
I would go to all the appointments and if I couldn't be there, I would be there, you know, virtually on the phone.

00:22:19.577 --> 00:22:29.048
But I would be like any change you make, anything you do, has to be discussed with me, especially if a parent is in a hospital or a nursing home.

00:22:29.048 --> 00:22:38.538
Oh my gosh, the things that they will do because it's easy, because the patient says, oh yeah, I'll take that medication or sure, I'll do that test, when they don't even know what they're consenting to.

00:22:38.538 --> 00:22:46.919
So consent for medical treatment and agreeing to things is a huge piece of advocacy for caregivers.

00:22:48.462 --> 00:22:49.205
I love that.

00:22:49.205 --> 00:22:51.603
I'm going to repeat that.

00:22:51.603 --> 00:22:53.461
Y'all hear that parenting up family.

00:22:53.461 --> 00:23:05.924
Tell those doctors and those nurses do not change the medication of my LO without telling me and getting my approval.

00:23:05.924 --> 00:23:10.807
Ooh, that is finger snaps and all kind of cheers.

00:23:12.376 --> 00:23:19.986
It happens all the time and bad things happen, yeah, bad things happen when medications are changed and nobody's asked.

00:23:19.986 --> 00:23:22.599
Oh my, God.

00:23:22.981 --> 00:23:57.962
Yeah, I mean, I'm not bashing this next statement is not me attempting to bash the medical system, but I will say the health care system is not equipped with people on the ground that understand Dementia and Alzheimer's, and they definitely don't understand the role of the ongoing caregiver, and so the points that you are making are fantastic.

00:23:57.962 --> 00:24:09.234
They often speak over us in appointments and they don't take what we're saying to heart and I'm like what are you talking about?

00:24:09.234 --> 00:24:16.440
Like I'm the link here, doctor or nurse, so-and-so you want me here.

00:24:16.440 --> 00:24:22.945
Who you don't want to ask is Zeddy, because Zeddy is going to tell you that she had lunch with a unicorn.

00:24:25.195 --> 00:24:35.327
So one thing that I will tell you that supports what you're saying is a doctor told me one day he said patients lie, we don't know if they're telling the truth.

00:24:35.327 --> 00:24:41.765
So here is how you get around doctors not believing you or not paying attention.

00:24:41.765 --> 00:24:43.449
It's documentation.

00:24:43.449 --> 00:25:06.976
So if you can keep a notebook of concerns, like every day, you know mom didn't eat today, or she woke up later, she had these behaviors, or I think she's having trouble going to the bathroom, I mean whatever you can document, whether it's temperature, blood pressure, whatever take those pieces of paper, keep copies, but take those to the doctor's office and give them the facts.

00:25:06.976 --> 00:25:09.499
They will pay more attention to you.

00:25:09.499 --> 00:25:20.050
If you have documentation every day of what's going on and you can say look, this is the problem we need to deal with, this is how it's happening, then they can't say that you're making this up.

00:25:24.494 --> 00:25:25.977
That is gold.

00:25:25.977 --> 00:25:28.901
Wow, another cheer.

00:25:28.901 --> 00:25:35.347
That is me giving you cheers.

00:25:35.347 --> 00:25:37.770
That's some Beyonce, taylor Swift cheer.

00:25:37.770 --> 00:25:49.538
You can write it, uh, for parents in our community.

00:25:49.538 --> 00:25:51.803
You can write it on a piece of paper, write it in your phone, send yourself an email, whatever it is.

00:25:51.803 --> 00:25:54.569
A lot of us may have access to a portal.

00:25:54.569 --> 00:26:01.775
Um, I know there are times when, especially, something happens in the middle of the night.

00:26:01.775 --> 00:26:06.182
I will send them an email in the middle of the night to let them know.

00:26:06.182 --> 00:26:14.365
This just happened at 4.42 am and I told you about it and I'm gritting my teeth and I hope you all can hear me.

00:26:14.365 --> 00:26:26.846
I told you about it at our last appointment and if you had given me the medicine when I asked you know, or if you had taken me seriously, maybe we wouldn't be up at 4.42 am.

00:26:26.846 --> 00:26:34.625
But that's why I'm sending this email right now, so you'll know how disgusted I am in real time.

00:26:34.625 --> 00:26:53.836
I say it softer than that, but because it's 4.42, I hope that they feel the passion in my words that is so important.

00:26:53.856 --> 00:26:54.740
The the portals are are kind of like your.

00:26:54.740 --> 00:26:57.029
I don't want to say documentation that something's going wrong, but it's on the record.

00:26:57.029 --> 00:27:04.023
Right, it goes into the medical record when you send notes through those portals yeah, I love them.

00:27:04.324 --> 00:27:05.065
I love the portals.

00:27:05.065 --> 00:27:24.038
What about?

00:27:24.038 --> 00:27:37.520
How have you been able to help people, help caregivers, respond when your LO gives you conversations like I want to go home or this is not where I live, let me leave here.

00:27:37.520 --> 00:28:06.061
And you know, you know that they are absolutely where they currently live and that can be frustrating and it can also be very dangerous because if they really tried to talk their way out of that environment, whether it's home or assisted living, they could hurt themselves or, you know, they could be a fall risk or they could be in the street, lost.

00:28:06.061 --> 00:28:08.748
How do you, how would you suggest handling that?

00:28:10.336 --> 00:28:11.900
So a couple of ways you know.

00:28:11.900 --> 00:28:19.115
One is if somebody says I want to go home, you can ask questions because that can be repetitive I want to go home, I want to go home.

00:28:19.115 --> 00:28:22.644
It's like, well, what did you like about your home, you know.

00:28:22.644 --> 00:28:32.249
Or if somebody says, well, I need to see my mom, and you know their mom is dead, it's like, well, what was, what are your memories about your mom, you know, what did you like about your mom?

00:28:32.249 --> 00:28:40.661
It's, it's a distraction technique that keeps them on the subject of like home or mom.

00:28:40.661 --> 00:28:44.237
But you're asking them questions and most of the time that long-term memory remains so they can tell you.

00:28:45.619 --> 00:28:51.779
Now, sometimes, if they say you know I want to go home, it's like, okay, I'll take you home, but let's go.

00:28:51.779 --> 00:28:57.019
We got to have dinner first or we have to go, you know, finish the laundry first.

00:28:57.019 --> 00:29:00.667
So again, it's a lot of redirection and distracting techniques.

00:29:00.667 --> 00:29:17.502
The other thing, if you're really worried about them, you know walking out of the house, you know there are devices that the local police departments have, that alarm companies have GPS bands that they can, you know watches and things that you can put in their shoes.

00:29:17.502 --> 00:29:21.561
So I mean, if that's a concern, then it's a different issue versus distraction.

00:29:25.169 --> 00:29:28.096
Right, absolutely, absolutely.

00:29:28.096 --> 00:29:56.847
And now you can kind of laugh and say that event or that experience.

00:29:57.269 --> 00:29:59.852
It's kind of funny now, but when we were in it we were all pulling out our hair.

00:29:59.852 --> 00:30:01.634
There are so many and I'll use a client story.

00:30:01.634 --> 00:30:06.220
So I had a woman who had dementia and she walked.

00:30:06.220 --> 00:30:10.834
She was fast and one time I had to take her.

00:30:10.834 --> 00:30:18.932
She was a veteran so I had to take her to the VA and I don't know how many of you all go to the VA, but wherever you go to the VA it's big, there's a lot of hallways.

00:30:18.932 --> 00:30:21.846
You go for an appointment, you're there for like hours.

00:30:21.846 --> 00:30:23.769
Well, she got away from me.

00:30:23.769 --> 00:30:33.528
She was so fast and I'm like I'm chasing this client down the hallway and I mean then it was like not funny, right, because I'm like, oh my gosh, I got it.

00:30:33.528 --> 00:30:36.175
I know there's all these people, she's going to get lost, I'm going to lose her.

00:30:37.226 --> 00:30:42.454
But now I look back and, sweetest thing, I mean you know we got her the care that she needed.

00:30:42.454 --> 00:30:53.909
But it's those kind of things when you're the caregiver in the moment and stuff's happening.

00:30:53.909 --> 00:31:02.271
You know, another time this gentleman, another VA client, I was taking him home and he had a stomach problem and hot day rolls down the window of the car in traffic and he starts vomiting out the window of the car.

00:31:02.271 --> 00:31:04.851
And I look at the guy in the car next to us.

00:31:04.851 --> 00:31:09.537
We're stopped at a red light and this guy is just like just almost vomiting himself.

00:31:09.537 --> 00:31:14.415
And these are crazy situations, right, but in the moment you're just like, oh my God, what do I do?

00:31:14.415 --> 00:31:18.311
And then you see the reactions, of other people reacting and you're like, oh my gosh.

00:31:18.311 --> 00:31:23.750
But I look back at these and these are all of the stories that like make all of that worth it.

00:31:24.333 --> 00:31:30.853
As crazy as they are, as crazy as they are Pamela, the person next to you in the car.

00:31:30.853 --> 00:31:35.500
They thought did you really take this old man on a binger?

00:31:38.125 --> 00:31:39.909
Did you have this old guy out drinking?

00:31:39.909 --> 00:31:43.637
That's probably what they were thinking.

00:31:43.637 --> 00:31:43.959
Yeah, oh.

00:31:48.248 --> 00:32:26.241
Oh man, what has, as you have put together this remarkable career in becoming a caregiver expert, what is something that you feel, like you know, really particularly proud of, that you feel that sets you apart from your other colleagues, like I really want you to pat yourself on the back or pop your collar.

00:32:26.262 --> 00:33:05.560
I want you to, I want you to don't do not be humble, say hey this is something that I do that many don't, or that I feel like I do extremely well, or that, whether it's a certification or or something that you've accomplished or an experience that you came through, you know, the very unique skill that I have, that I'm good at, was when I was a professional fiduciary, so I was a guardian for clients, and these were crazy situations where, like, for example, parents would appoint me to be their guardian instead of their children because they didn't trust their children or children were abusing their parents.

00:33:06.042 --> 00:33:12.753
So many times I actually had to go testify in court and I would have attorneys grilling me on.

00:33:12.753 --> 00:33:15.561
You know, was I doing the right thing?

00:33:15.561 --> 00:33:17.247
Was I harming the client?

00:33:17.247 --> 00:33:19.752
How did, how did I prove that this happened?

00:33:19.752 --> 00:33:19.992
Right?

00:33:19.992 --> 00:33:25.655
Because in court it's not like there's no hearsay, it's not like, well, I heard this from somebody else.

00:33:25.655 --> 00:33:27.605
It's like, what did you actually do?

00:33:27.605 --> 00:33:37.169
I was very good in court situations and I've served as an expert witness in she's a CPA and she about litigation and expert witness testimony.

00:34:15.786 --> 00:34:16.045
I knew.

00:34:16.045 --> 00:34:21.818
I knew more about that in eighth grade than I understood about casseroles, because that's what she did not do.

00:34:21.818 --> 00:34:23.849
She did not come home and bake.

00:34:23.849 --> 00:34:24.590
She.

00:34:24.590 --> 00:34:32.389
She was at the dining room table when she was baking was her testimony and getting ready for trials.

00:34:32.389 --> 00:34:34.074
She was not going to bake cookies.

00:34:34.074 --> 00:34:45.570
She said well, we can go buy the pre-made, cut up toll house and, you know, go in there and preheat the oven to 325 and mama will help you put them on the cookie sheet.

00:34:45.570 --> 00:34:46.711
That's it.

00:34:46.711 --> 00:34:54.211
So thank you for sharing that.

00:34:54.211 --> 00:34:55.295
That's amazing.

00:34:55.295 --> 00:34:55.456
It's.

00:34:55.456 --> 00:34:55.637
It is.

00:34:55.637 --> 00:34:57.141
You know, it's you.

00:34:57.161 --> 00:35:03.650
Never, I never, like to hear those stories of the dissension and tension in between families.

00:35:03.650 --> 00:35:06.032
Tension in between families.

00:35:06.032 --> 00:35:24.108
However, it is great for my listeners and my viewers to know hey, it's not just you and your family, your siblings, your cousins, your uncles and aunties.

00:35:24.108 --> 00:35:25.711
It happened decades ago, it happened centuries ago.

00:35:25.711 --> 00:35:36.532
You know, most often when there's a coup, you know from centuries ago or millennia ago, it's infighting.

00:35:36.532 --> 00:35:42.230
A brother wanted to take over the other brother who was supposed to be king, because he thinks he should have been king.

00:35:42.230 --> 00:35:46.920
You know, it's rare that it's actually an outsider.

00:35:46.920 --> 00:35:49.605
It's usually from inside your own family.

00:35:49.605 --> 00:35:55.474
So it the more the people in our community can understand.

00:35:55.474 --> 00:36:01.896
Hey, you're not in this alone and what is happening to you is happening to other people.

00:36:01.896 --> 00:36:02.885
It just makes it.

00:36:02.885 --> 00:36:06.751
It makes that pill a little easier to swallow.

00:36:06.751 --> 00:36:15.072
So, knowing that you did that work man, I bet it was fascinating.

00:36:15.244 --> 00:36:16.369
I bet that was gut-wrenching though.

00:36:16.409 --> 00:36:21.112
So, anyway, it was gut-wrenching, but I was good at it, right.

00:36:21.112 --> 00:36:23.438
So the good and the bad, right, I was good at it.

00:36:23.438 --> 00:36:25.389
So attorneys would keep sending me.

00:36:25.389 --> 00:36:27.873
They're like, oh, I got a case for you, will you take it?

00:36:27.873 --> 00:36:34.264
And I'm like, oh, yes, I'll take it, but to your point, okay, so we don't talk about all these family things.

00:36:34.264 --> 00:36:37.112
So I would have caregivers that would come to my office children.

00:36:37.112 --> 00:36:45.248
They'd be like, oh, pamela, you know, we saw your video, we read your book, we came to a talk, I had your business card in my wallet.

00:36:45.248 --> 00:36:49.692
But things are really bad now and I'm like, why did you wait?

00:36:49.692 --> 00:36:58.282
So my advice to caregivers is don't wait until something becomes so bad that you're overwhelmed and then you seek help.

00:37:02.146 --> 00:37:04.407
Get the help before you get to that point.

00:37:04.407 --> 00:37:09.112
Okay, you lobbed me a nice fat, slow fastball right down the plate.

00:37:09.112 --> 00:37:30.668
What is a point that is kind of like hey, give us a few markers where you would say, in your professional opinion, when you start to see and hear this you probably need some help.

00:37:30.688 --> 00:37:46.552
So for me, very early on in caregiving in my family and then in my professional life, it's when you are constantly worried about the next thing that's going to happen and you can't sleep and it's all you think about.

00:37:46.552 --> 00:37:55.668
And maybe you're at work and it's distracting you the minute that those thoughts are spinning and you can't get rid of them and you can't focus on anything.

00:37:55.668 --> 00:37:59.186
That's one point, you know.

00:37:59.186 --> 00:38:03.617
The other point is when you're having to trade your time right.

00:38:03.617 --> 00:38:20.532
So you go to work and you got kids and you got a family and you're spending so much time with your loved one but everything else in your life is starting to suffer and people are starting to say to you I need more of your time, why are you spending so much time over there?

00:38:20.532 --> 00:38:33.179
That's another warning sign that gets missed and I've seen marriages destroyed because of that and it's a shame that caregivers can't see that their lives are becoming unbalanced.

00:38:35.045 --> 00:38:36.969
Okay, here's the third crowd roar.

00:38:36.969 --> 00:38:43.139
Let's see.

00:38:43.139 --> 00:38:45.072
Now this is Bon Jovi and U2.

00:38:45.072 --> 00:39:05.204
That's my best rock, because I don't know a caregiver that does have balance, including myself, and I'm much better now, much better now than I used to be, but it's still.

00:39:05.204 --> 00:39:11.668
I'm still working on it, I'm still working on it, I'm still working on it, I'm still working on it, I'm still working on it.

00:39:11.668 --> 00:39:41.476
When caregivers beat themselves up Pamela, I'm sure you have had that come across with some of your clients hey, pamela, I'm doing all I can, but mom ended up in the hospital or dad fell.

00:39:41.476 --> 00:39:51.231
I'm screwing up, I'm trying so much, but I I don't think I'm doing a good job.

00:39:51.231 --> 00:39:58.797
I'm giving it all I got, but I'm, but I'm failing or I'm not doing well enough.

00:39:58.797 --> 00:40:02.545
What's your offer?

00:40:02.704 --> 00:40:05.452
My advice is don't beat yourself up.

00:40:05.452 --> 00:40:13.413
In whatever situation you're doing, you're there and you're showing up, so you're doing the best that you can.

00:40:13.413 --> 00:40:18.065
So don't beat yourself up, because you can't control everything.

00:40:18.065 --> 00:40:21.072
You can't, honestly, stop your dad from falling.

00:40:21.072 --> 00:40:23.925
You can't stop somebody from having a heart attack.

00:40:23.925 --> 00:40:26.130
You can't stop them from getting sicker.

00:40:26.130 --> 00:40:37.597
You can do what you can do, but sometimes health issues just go their own way and there's nothing that you can do, no matter how much you want to.

00:40:37.597 --> 00:40:45.367
And I've been in those situations, too, where I wanted to save somebody so badly that I too felt bad when things went wrong.

00:40:45.367 --> 00:40:50.786
But there's so, so much of this is unpredictable and you can't control it.

00:40:50.786 --> 00:40:58.333
And the more other people are involved doctors, healthcare systems, hospitals, nursing homes the more uncontrollable it gets.

00:40:58.333 --> 00:41:08.534
So you have to find peace in your heart that you're doing everything you can and you're doing the best that you can, and that's all you can do, and you have to find peace with that.

00:41:11.347 --> 00:41:11.929
I love it.

00:41:11.929 --> 00:41:13.173
I love it.

00:41:13.173 --> 00:41:18.858
This has been such a powerful and rewarding conversation.

00:41:18.858 --> 00:41:24.878
We've never had a testifying expert witness on the podcast before.

00:41:24.878 --> 00:41:27.472
I'm going to whisper that in my mom's ear.

00:41:27.472 --> 00:41:28.518
I don't know how much it will connect, but I think her spirit will hear it.

00:41:28.518 --> 00:41:28.670
I'm going to whisper that in my mom's ear.

00:41:28.670 --> 00:41:30.572
I don't know how much it will connect, but I think her spirit will hear it.

00:41:30.572 --> 00:41:33.336
I'm very proud to tell her that.

00:41:33.336 --> 00:41:35.927
I'm going to tell her later.

00:41:35.927 --> 00:41:39.710
Before we wrap up.

00:41:39.710 --> 00:41:56.617
Let me know, is there a bullet that you have that you can tell caregivers, like in a phrase or two, how do you make the healthcare system work for you If you're a caregiver?

00:41:56.617 --> 00:42:02.989
How do you just kind of get this beast to kind of you?

00:42:02.989 --> 00:42:12.619
Kind of just you're trying to get a square peg into a round hole, but what's a better way to hurt these cats?

00:42:15.208 --> 00:42:16.351
first of all, don't give up.

00:42:16.351 --> 00:42:21.239
You have to be persistent, get your questions answered, ask them.

00:42:21.239 --> 00:42:24.414
What questions should I be asking you that I don't know to ask you?

00:42:24.414 --> 00:42:28.030
So if you don't have any medical expertise, problem is you don't know what to ask.

00:42:28.030 --> 00:42:30.875
What questions should I be asking you that I'm not?

00:42:30.875 --> 00:42:34.771
What are the unusual things that happen that I should look for?

00:42:34.771 --> 00:42:38.226
What are the unexpected things that can happen that I should look for?

00:42:38.226 --> 00:42:45.992
And, going back to the documentation, document everything so that you have notes and facts to give them, because that's where they live.

00:42:45.992 --> 00:42:49.978
They live in clinical notes and they live in documentation and they live in all that.

00:42:49.978 --> 00:42:55.297
So we sometimes have to go a little bit over to their side to help us get what we want.

00:42:55.297 --> 00:42:57.030
I love that.

00:42:57.864 --> 00:43:02.496
What questions should I be asking you that I don't even know to ask?

00:43:04.452 --> 00:43:05.125
It's a big one.

00:43:05.125 --> 00:43:07.346
I ask people that to this day.

00:43:09.407 --> 00:43:10.628
That is golden.

00:43:10.628 --> 00:43:11.349
I love it.

00:43:11.349 --> 00:43:14.190
Thank you so much, pamela D Wilson.

00:43:14.190 --> 00:43:38.411
Pamela, I end every episode with three snuggle ups, and the snuggle up is something that is very difficult about being a caregiver, that you don't really want to do, but if you go ahead and snuggle up to it, your caregiver journey will be easier.

00:43:38.411 --> 00:43:55.871
So it's more like, hey, go ahead, get it over with, rip the bandaid off is one snuggle up that you can say about your caregiver journey or your life as a caregiver expert that you can share with us.

00:43:55.891 --> 00:43:59.739
I would say the snuggle up is confronting reality.

00:43:59.739 --> 00:44:11.181
Okay, because sometimes we don't want to admit that our parents' health is getting worse or something's happening.

00:44:11.181 --> 00:44:16.431
We want to look on the bright side, which we need to look on the bright side because caregiving is so difficult.

00:44:16.431 --> 00:44:22.748
But sometimes we have to accept and ask the hard questions, and I'll use a health diagnosis.

00:44:22.748 --> 00:44:24.856
You know, and my mom's situation.

00:44:24.856 --> 00:44:37.420
We were so naive, we did not ask in this one particular case if surgery would have been a good idea, if she was healthy enough for surgery, if she'd be able to recover after surgery.

00:44:37.420 --> 00:44:42.813
But it was because we didn't know those questions to ask and, as a result, my mother had surgery.

00:44:42.813 --> 00:44:47.873
Looking back, she should have never had the surgery and she didn't recover and she died.

00:44:47.873 --> 00:44:51.891
Looking back, she should have never had the surgery and she didn't recover and she died.

00:44:51.891 --> 00:44:55.318
Because we were not, we were not equipped to confront reality.

00:44:55.318 --> 00:45:02.681
Yeah, well, it's true, it's true.

00:45:02.681 --> 00:45:04.947
So confronting reality is the snuggle up.

00:45:05.007 --> 00:45:16.378
Let the community know every asset that you have your consulting services, your book website.

00:45:16.378 --> 00:45:19.041
Social media handles all of that.

00:45:19.041 --> 00:45:19.862
Please share.

00:45:21.286 --> 00:45:23.614
So if you make it over to my website, it's Pamela D.

00:45:23.614 --> 00:45:25.472
So do you like dog Wilson dot com?

00:45:25.472 --> 00:45:27.690
There's three online courses there.

00:45:27.690 --> 00:45:28.373
They're all free.

00:45:28.373 --> 00:45:32.494
One is how to take care of aging parents extensive webinar program.

00:45:32.494 --> 00:45:37.135
The other one is about power of attorney, if you don't know about power of attorney, and the other one is about guardianship.

00:45:37.135 --> 00:45:39.469
Then there's my podcast.

00:45:39.469 --> 00:45:40.913
It's called the caring generation.

00:45:40.913 --> 00:45:42.456
My book is the caregiving trap.

00:45:42.456 --> 00:45:45.989
I have a group on Facebook called the caregiving trap.

00:45:45.989 --> 00:45:50.115
It's a private caregiving group where there's over a thousand caregivers in there from all over the world.

00:45:50.115 --> 00:45:53.280
Um, my YouTube channel has over 800 videos.

00:45:53.280 --> 00:45:54.286
I do videos every week.

00:45:54.286 --> 00:46:00.552
So if you have a question, you can fill out a form on the contact me page on my website and I will do a video for you.

00:46:00.552 --> 00:46:04.326
That's where you can also request a one-on-one consultation.

00:46:04.326 --> 00:46:16.561
But there's so much free information and resources on my website for people who are just searching for answers about dementia or how to deal with doctors or legal issues.

00:46:16.561 --> 00:46:17.829
A little bit of everything there.

00:46:20.666 --> 00:46:21.967
Yay, you hear that.

00:46:21.967 --> 00:46:33.331
Community, parenting Up community all of you who are in various parts of the globe, pamela D Wilson has something for you and there's no cost attached.

00:46:33.331 --> 00:46:42.476
It is just a caregiving expert helping us make it through.

00:46:42.476 --> 00:46:46.246
Remember, alzheimer's is heavy, but we ain't gotta be.

00:46:46.246 --> 00:46:48.050
Thank you so much, pamela.

00:46:48.050 --> 00:46:51.871
You are welcome anytime to come back and continue sharing.

00:46:51.871 --> 00:46:53.371
You have a good one.

00:46:54.726 --> 00:46:56.032
Thank you so much for having me.

00:47:00.766 --> 00:47:04.670
Let's snuggle up Number one.

00:47:04.670 --> 00:47:19.213
Okay, I hate it too, but the fact that, like a super expert just said it again, I'm like, oh God, I really have to do it.

00:47:19.213 --> 00:47:40.719
I guess of the legal documents that prove that you are who you are to your LO and you can make decisions for them with you to every doctor's appointment and to every hospitalization.

00:47:40.719 --> 00:47:54.481
Yeah, yes, it's a pain in the neck, and maybe you put it in some portal and perhaps it's supposed to already be in the doctor's files.

00:47:54.481 --> 00:48:09.702
But what if they can't find it and you run into a situation where they're trying to add a medication or they want to give some IV drip and you don't think it's a good idea?

00:48:09.702 --> 00:48:16.373
That's not the time for you to say yeah, but you can't see it.

00:48:16.373 --> 00:48:17.829
It's not on the file.

00:48:17.829 --> 00:48:19.389
Oh, you know what?

00:48:19.389 --> 00:48:29.769
We just changed systems last month and our old files haven't come over from the cloud to our new system.

00:48:29.769 --> 00:48:32.887
How many times have you heard some bull crap like that?

00:48:32.887 --> 00:48:34.530
Okay, that's me.

00:48:34.530 --> 00:48:37.474
Is that me venting?

00:48:37.474 --> 00:48:41.019
Anyway, keep it on you.

00:48:41.019 --> 00:48:46.634
Maybe it's a hard copy, maybe it's on your tablet or on your cell phone.

00:48:46.634 --> 00:48:50.000
You might have it digitally on you, but keep it on you.

00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:52.150
It's not worth it.

00:48:52.150 --> 00:48:58.692
If you've done the work to have that legal documentation created, put it on your person.

00:48:58.692 --> 00:49:00.690
It's like a driver's license.

00:49:00.690 --> 00:49:05.244
It's what allows you to drive the life of your LO.

00:49:05.626 --> 00:49:13.358
Number two ask for professional opinions before the crisis occurs.

00:49:13.358 --> 00:49:17.831
Okay, that could be a serious game changer.

00:49:17.831 --> 00:49:24.407
Yeah, if your family member has a stroke, of course you're going to take them to the doctor.

00:49:24.407 --> 00:49:31.425
Or if they forget what city and state they live in, yeah, you're going to take them to the doctor.

00:49:31.425 --> 00:49:43.626
How about just get a few medical opinions way before something that off the rail occurs?

00:49:43.626 --> 00:49:48.074
You are not making them sick or ill.

00:49:48.074 --> 00:49:52.846
You're not bringing bad luck on them because you go and ask somebody.

00:49:52.846 --> 00:50:02.309
Hey, do you think something's wrong with my mama if she is now taking two hours to get home from church and it's supposed to take 20 minutes?

00:50:02.309 --> 00:50:04.972
You're not giving her all times.

00:50:04.972 --> 00:50:08.077
I put the T in there on purpose, remember, I'm a comedian.

00:50:08.077 --> 00:50:17.670
Go ahead, ask some questions.

00:50:17.670 --> 00:50:19.864
The sooner you ask questions, the easier this whole journey will be.

00:50:23.036 --> 00:50:36.873
Number three Yo, it happens to us all Negative days, days, the days where your soul just won't get right with your brain.

00:50:36.873 --> 00:50:44.210
It's like you can't chew gum and walk at the same time and you wonder what the world happened.

00:50:44.210 --> 00:50:46.996
How come I can't pull it together?

00:50:46.996 --> 00:50:53.027
Who is going to come save me up out of this crisis of madness of caregiving?

00:50:53.027 --> 00:50:55.753
Okay, nobody.

00:50:55.753 --> 00:50:59.360
If they haven't come by now, they ain't coming.

00:50:59.360 --> 00:51:04.112
It's just a negative day or a negative minute.

00:51:04.112 --> 00:51:06.297
It's okay, it's going to pass.

00:51:06.297 --> 00:51:09.543
The same way, it won't rain forever.

00:51:09.543 --> 00:51:11.025
The sun is going to come back out.

00:51:11.025 --> 00:51:15.514
The same way, you won't have diarrhea forever.

00:51:15.514 --> 00:51:19.505
At some point, your stomach will stop bubbling.

00:51:19.505 --> 00:51:22.009
All right.

00:51:22.009 --> 00:51:37.831
Remember, you were the bleeding heart, the caring person who signed up for the job in the family, and you can make it through this.

00:51:37.831 --> 00:51:41.333
You can make it through it, all right.

00:51:41.333 --> 00:51:44.344
Yeah, what's up?

00:51:44.344 --> 00:51:47.786
Family, share this episode right here with a caregiver you love.

00:51:47.786 --> 00:51:49.949
Review on Apple Podcasts.

00:51:49.949 --> 00:51:55.860
Follow us on social media and please subscribe to our YouTube channel.